While both sides insisted the discussions had taken place in good faith, the prime minister said a key sticking point had been Labour divides over a second referendum, while the opposition said May’s imminent deviation from Downing Street meant there was no guarantee any promises would be kept by her successor.
The fortunes of the environment secretary remain hard to predict and opinion is divide in the party. His detractors believe he is deeply unpopular with the country and has ruined his reputation for good when he stood against Johnson at the last leadership race. However, most MPs were delighted by his performance in the no-confidence vote where he tore into Corbyn.
div > DTAG 4 TT DTAG 5 TT BTAG 3 TTMatt Hancock
While the response of many voters to mention of the health secretary is still likely to be’ Who ?’, to some he is starting to have the makings of a from-the-sidelines contender. The former culture secretary is only 40 but has six years of frontbench experience, and is on to his second cabinet post.
div > DTAG 6 TT DTAG 7 TT BTAG 4 TTJeremy Hunt
The nickname’ Theresa in trousers’ has stuck. Most colleagues am talking about his candidacy unenthusiastically and caution about his reputation with the country after having weathered the junior physicians’ ten-strike. He could still succeed by bridging the Brexit-remain divide and attracting colleagues looking forward to a moderate grown-up.
div > DTAG 8 TT DTAG 9 TT BTAG 5 TTSajid Javid
The home secretary is reported to have told Tory MPs he is the only one who can beat Jeremy Corbyn in a general election, but has stimulated less of an impact than first predicted. Several MPs believe that the case of Isis bride Shamima Begum was mishandled and find Javid’s speeches and vision less than inspiring.
div > DTAG 10 TT DTAG 11 TT BTAG 6 TTBoris Johnson
Still favourite for the top undertaking, Johnson has kept himself out of the messiest Tory warfare in 2019 and has enthusiastic supporting from younger Brexiter MPs- and the patronage of Jacob Rees-Mogg. His supporters insist no other name on the listing can connect with voters in the same way and win a general election. However, his reputation is still severely damaged from his time as foreign secretary and there is a concerted’ anyone but Boris’ campaign among party colleagues.
Leadsom has revived her reputation somewhat during her tenure as Commons leader, especially her rounds in the ring with the Speaker, John Bercow. However, few believe she would ever be first choice again among Eurosceptics and a number of her former campaign squad have said they will discourage her from running.
div > DTAG 14 TT DTAG 15 TT BTAG 8 TTEsther McVey
Former cabinet minister McVey has already announced her intention to run. She has the Brexit credentials, having discontinue as Work and Pensions Secretary in protest at Theresa May’s withdrawal agreement, and claims to already have enough support from fellow MPs to make her bid viable.
The international development secretary is a confirmed Brexiter, which will appeal to much of the leadership electorate, but is also decidedly liberal on social question, so could be seen as a unifier. But for some the idea of Mordaunt is more credible than current realities. There is still, however, time for her to turn this impression around.
The former Brexit secretary has a loyal fanbase and a professional team, including subsistence from Vote Leave’s ex-comms director Paul Stephenson. MPs are forming the view that the next party leader should be a younger face from a new generation of politicians- which devotes Raab the edge over Boris Johnson.
div > DTAG 20 TT DTAG 21 TT BTAG 11 TTAmber Rudd
The work and pensions secretary, the favourite among the party’s left, has all but ruled herself out of the race. She could still be a powerful kingmaker, and is being wooed as a operate mate by everyone from Johnson and Michael Gove to Hunt.
div > DTAG 22 TT DTAG 23 TT BTAG 12 TTLiz Truss
Truss has worked the circuit more than almost any other potential candidate, speaking on the future of the Tory party at almost any venue that will have her- thinktanks, launchings and in weekend newspaper spreads. She hopes to win Brexiter backing with a publicly enthusiastic embracing of a no-deal Brexit- much to the scepticism of Treasury colleagues.
div > DTAG 24 TT DTAG 25 TT BTAG 13 TTAnd those not in the running
Among the senior figures not expected to run are Brandon Lewis, the party chairman, Chris Grayling, the transport secretary, and Philip Hammond, the chancellor, who acknowledges that he is not popular enough. Gavin Williamson’s recent sacking after the Huawei leak inquiry will also surely rule him out as an option this time around.
Speaking on BBC Radio 4′ s Today programme, Starmer said:” The real problem was this question of how on earth do you future-proof any bargain- if there was a deal- against an incoming Tory leader ?. Because … the prime minister said before we started the talks that she would be going. It’s not for me to criticise that, that’s her decision about when she wants to go.
” But it does mean that during the talks- nearly literally- sitting in the room as we’re talking, cabinet members and wannabe Tory leaders were torpedoing the talks with remarks about not being willing to accept a customs union .”
FTAG 2 TT DTAG 29 TT DTAG 30 TT
DTAG 31 TT DTAG 32 TT Play Video SPTAG 4 TT
div > DTAG 33 TT DTAG 34 TT 0:18
SPTAG 5 TT McDonnell likens Brexit talks to dealing with firm going bust- video
He echoed the words of the shadow chancellor, John McDonnell, last week that the negotiations were like” trying to contract with a company about to go into administration. There was a weakness, because circling around those working in the room trying to negotiate were others who didn’t want the negotiation to succeed because they had their eye on what was coming next .”
He said the situation put May” in a position where she was in reality too weak to deliver, in our decision “.
Starmer said the government had to find a way to end the stalemate, and indicated:” They could seek to break the impasse by putting a confirmatory vote on the face of a bill .”
Starmer’s comments came as Matt Hancock, the health secretary, said May’s successor should not call a general election until Britain had left the EU.
He said an early poll could hand the keys of No 10 to the ATAG 7 TTLabour leader, Jeremy Corbyn, and risk” killing Brexit wholly “.
He said it was essential the ATAG 8 TTConservatives delivered on the 2016 referendum to be translated into the current parliament.
A poll of Tory members induced Boris Johnson the frontrunner to succeed May after she bowed to pressure and ATAG 9 TTagreed to set a timetable at the start of next month to elect a new leader.
In an interview with the Daily Telegraph, Hancock, who voted remain in the referendum, said:” I believe a general election before we’ve delivered Brexit would be a disaster. People don’t want it. I’m with ATAG 10 TTBrenda from Bristol. We need to take responsibility for delivering on the referendum result .”
May is to make one final attempt to get her Brexit deal through parliament when she introduces the withdrawal agreement bill in the Commons in the first full week of June. But after the cross-party talks collapsed, few in Westminster dedicate her much chance of success.
Whatever the result, May has agreed to meet the chair of the 1922 Committee of backbench Tory MPs, Sir Graham Brady, after the vote to agree a timetable for the election of her successor.
“Care about what other people guess and “you il always be” their prisoner.”~ Lao Tzu
We carefully pick out what we wear to the gym to make sure we appear good in the eyes of the other gym goers.
We beat ourselves up after sessions operating through everything we said( or didn’t say ), worried that coworkers will think we aren’t smart or talented enough.
We post merely the best picture out of the twenty-seven selfies we took and add a flattering filter to get the most likes to prove to ourselves that we are pretty and likable.
We live in other people’s heads.
And all it does is make us judge ourselves more harshly. It induces us uncomfortable in our own bodies. It induces us feel apologetic for being ourselves. It stimulates us live according to our perception of other people’s standards.
It attains us feel inauthentic. Anxious. Judgmental. Not good enough. Not likable enough. Not smart enough. Not pretty enough.
F that sh* t.
The truth is, other people’s sentiments of us are none of our business. Their sentiments have nothing to do with us and everything to do with them, their past, their judgments, their expectations, their likes, and their dislikes.
I could stand in front of twenty strangers and be talking about any topic. Some of them will hate what I’m wearing, some will love it. Some will think I’m a fool, and others will love what I have to say. Some will forget me as soon as they leave, others will remember me for years.
Some will hate me because I remind them of their annoying sister-in-law. Others will feel compassionate toward me because I remind members of their daughter. Some will altogether is aware that I have to say, and others will misinterpret my words.
Each of them will get the exact same me. I will do my best and be the best I can be in that moment. But their opinions of me will vary. And that has nothing to do with me and everything to do with them.
No matter what I do some people will never like me. No matter what I do some people will always like me. Either way, it has nothing to do with me. And it’s none of my business.
Ok,” that’s all well and good” you may be thinking. “But how do I stop caring what other people think of me? ”
1. Know your values.
Knowing your top core values is like having a brighter flashlight to get you through the timbers. A duller sun may still get you where you need to go, but you’ll stumble more or be led astray.
With a brighter lighting the decisions you make–left or right, up or down, yes or no–become clearer and easier to make.
For years I had no idea what I truly valued, and I felt lost in life as a result. I never felt confident in my decisions, and I questioned everything I said and did.
Doing core values work on myself has made a huge impact on my life. I came to realize that “compassion” is my top core value. Now when I find myself questioning my career decisions because I’m worried about disappointing my mothers( a huge trigger for me ), I remind myself that “compassion” also means “self-compassion, ” and I’m able to cut myself some slack.
If you value gallantry and perseverance and you show up at the gym even though you are nervous and have “lame” gym clothes, you don’t have to dwell on what the other gym goers think about you.
If you value inner peace and you need to say “no” to someone who is asking for your time, and your plate is already full to the max, you can do so without feeling like they will judge you for being a selfish person.
If you value authenticity and you share your opinion in a mob, you can do so with confidence knowing that you are living your values and being yourself.
Know your core values, and which ones you value the most. Your flashlight will be brighter for it.
2. Know to stay in your own business.
Another way to stop caring about what other people think is to understand that there are three types of business in the world. This is a lesson I learned from Byron Katie, and I love it.
The first is God’s business. If the word “God” isn’t to your liking, you can use another word here that works for you, like the Universe or “nature.” I guess I like “nature” better, so I’ll employ that.
The weather is nature’s business. Who dies and who is born is nature’s business. The body and genes you were given are nature’s business. You have no place in nature’s business. You can’t control it.
The second type of business is other people’s business. What they do is their business. What your neighbour believes of you is his business. What day your coworker comes into work is her business. If the driver in the other car doesn’t run when the illuminate turns green, it’s their business.
The third type of business is your business.
If you get angry with the other driver because you now have to wait at another red light, that’s your business.
If you get irritated because your coworker is late again, that’s your business.
If you are worried about what your neighbor thinks of you that’s your business.
What they think is their business. What you think( and in turn, feel) is your business.
Whose business are you in when you’re worried about what you’re wearing? Whose business are you in when you dwell on how your joke was received at the party?
You only have one business to concern yourself with–yours. What you think and what you do are the only things you can control in life. That’s it.
3. Know that you have full ownership over your feelings.
When we base our impressions on other people’s sentiments, we are allowing them to control our lives. We’re basically allowing them to be our puppet master, and when they pull the strings just right, we either feel good or bad.
If someone dismiss you, you feel bad. You may think “she made me feel this way by ignore me.” But the truth is, she has no control over how you feel.
She ignored you and you designated meaning to that action. To you, that meant that you are not worth her hour, or you are not likable enough, smart enough, or cool enough.
Then you felt sad or mad because of the meaning you applied. You had an emotional reaction to your own thought.
When we give ownership of our impressions over to others, we give up control over our feelings. The fact of the matter is, the only person that can hurt your feelings is you.
To change how other people’s actions construct you feel, you only need to change a think. This step sometimes takes a bit of work because our thoughts are usually automatic or even on the unconscious level, so it may take some digging to figure out what thought is causing your emotion.
But once you do, challenge it, question it, or accept it. Your emotions will follow.
4. Know that you are doing your best.
One of the annoying things my mommy would say growing up( and she still says) is “You did the best you could with what you had at the time.”
I hated that saying.
I had high standards of myself and I always thought that I could have done better. So when I didn’t meet those expectations my inner bully would come out and beat the crap out of me.
How much of your life have you spend kicking yourself because you thought you said something dumb? Or because you proved up late? Or that you looked weird?
Every time, you did the best you could. Every. Single. Time.
That’s because everything we do has a positive intent. It were not able to be obvious, but it’s there.
Literally as I’m writing this post sitting in a tea shop in Portland, Maine, another patron went to the counter and asked what types of tea he had been able to blend with his smoky Lapsang Souchong tea( a favorite of mine as well ).
He hadn’t asked me, but I chimed in that maybe chaga mushroom would go well because of its earthy flavor. He seemed unimpressed with the unsolicited advice and turned back to the counter.
The old me would have taken that response to heart and felt terrible the rest of the afternoon guessing how this guy must think I’m a dope and vexing for jumping into the conversation uninvited.
But let’s take a look at what I had in that moment 😛 TAGEND
I had an urge to try to be helpful and a core value of kindness and compassion I had an interest in the conversation I had an impression that my feedback might be well received I had a desire to connect with a new person on a shared interest
I did the best I could with what I had.
Because I know that, I have no regrets. I also know that his opinion of me is none of my the enterprises and I was living in tune with my values trying to be helpful!
Though, I is also able to see how from another perspective that forcing my way into a dialogue and pushing my ideas on someone who did not ask may have been perceived as rude. And rudeness runs against my core value of compassion.
That leadings me to the next lesson.
5. Know that everyone builds mistakes.
We live in a culture where we don’t often talk about how we feel. It turns out we all experience the same feelings, and we all attain missteps. Go figure!
Even if you are living in tune with your values, even if you are staying in your own business, even if you are doing your best, you will induce misstep. Without question.
So what? We all do. We all have. Having compassion for yourself comes easier when you understand that everyone has felt that way. Everyone has gone through it.
The only productive thing you can do with your missteps is to learn from them. Once you figure out the lesson you can take from the experience, rumination is not at all necessary and it’s time to move on.
In the case of tea patron-interjection-debacle, I could have done a better undertaking of reading his body language and noticed that he wanted to connect with the tea sommelier and not a random stranger.
Lesson learned. No self-bullying required.
At my last company I accidentally caused a company-wide upset. A friend and coworker of mine, who had been at the company for a few years, had been asking to get a better parking spot. One came available as someone left the company, but he still was passed over.
He’s such a nice guy, and as my department is fraught with sarcastics, I thought it would be funny to create a pun-filled petition for him to get the better spot.
I had no idea that it was going to be taken so poorly by some people. It ran up the chain of command and looked like our department is fraught with unappreciative, needy whiners.
And our boss thought it was like I used my position to coerce people into signing it. He brought the whole department together and painfully and uncomfortably called out the whole terrible situation and demanded it never happen again.
I. Was. MORTIFIED.
He hadn’t named me, but most people knew I made it. I was so embarrassed and ashamed.
But here’s what I did 😛 TAGEND
I reminded myself of my values. I value compassion and humor. I believed I was doing a kind but funny act for a friend. When I received myself fretting what other people must now think of me, I told myself that if they guessed poorly of me( of which I had no evidence) all I could do was to continue to be my best me. When flashbacks of that awful meeting came back to mind, flushing my face full of heat and dishonor, I remembered to take ownership over how I felt and not let the memory of the event or what other people believe dictate how I feel now. I reminded myself that I did the best I could with what I had at the time. I had a desire to help a friend and an idea I thought was funny and assumed would go over well. I realized that I made a mistake. The lesson I learned was to be more considerate of how others may receive my sense of humor. Not everyone detects me as funny as my husband does. I can make better decisions now because of it.
And after a short time the whole incident was forgotten.
Stop worrying about what other people think. It will change your life.